A more charming man you couldn't wish to meet, I fell for his charms hook, line and sinker. The year of '96 went as a blur because I had met, moved in with and was pregnant by this man all in eleven months.
He always was a heavy drinker, but I thought after our son was born he would slow down and become a 'family man'. The bubble first burst in April '97 when the physical abuse first happened. He begged my forgiveness and made all sorts of excuses. I listened to him and forgave his actions.

The physical and mental abuse was to continue for the next six years emerging at different periods of time. After every episode, I forgave, more out of fear than love. I did manage to leave him for four and a half months once, but again I caved in and returned. The physical abuse hurt but the mental abuse cut deep, making me lose all my confidence and self esteem. I turned from an outgoing happy woman to a shell that obeyed every command.

Early in 2002 we moved to a new area away from family and other influences and I thought that a new beginning would help him change...No such luck! In the summer of this year after three days of abuse following a drinking spree, I had a revelation and an inner voice told me enough. I called the police and he was arrested and on my statement was charged.

I arrived at the refuge a day later feeling exhausted, but the moment the staff started to talk to me, I felt they were on my side and didn't judge my actions. The feeling of relief was so immense that the tears just flowed. Everyone in the house has given me so much emotional and practical support since I have been here that I am finding the courage and determination to change the pattern of my life. Words cannot express how grateful I am to all of them and long may they continue.

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